Saturday, February 16, 2019

Running Low

Today I wanted to share a little about our world of parenting kids with special needs..... Never thought it would be like THIS......

Running Low


Come on in and grab some coffee, tea or any drink you would like.... 

Sit down and lets chat.....

Being a parent...... ok, that alone is one of the hardest jobs around!!!!  Let me start off by saying that!

Parenting a child with special needs X 3!!! Never thought it would be "this" way! Rocking me to the core, testing my faith everyday! I was one that thought well yes, no problem we can adopted a kid with special needs. We are strong and we can handle it. OK well we adopted 3 kids, only 1 was "special needs" and well, like so many other Foster parents thinking about adopting, we said ok!!!! 

That is where this story will begin, after adopting 3 kids through the Foster System, I was one of these people that thought with my faith and love it will all be OK. We got this and we will make it happen!



This is hard to talk about, you sometimes feel like you are failing.... when things are ok you GOT THIS but watch out when the turmoil hits and you can't stop your mind from blowing up and sometimes even your mouth..... yup that is me! Guilty as charged! I know that so many parents can relate to this in general because this is a hard job, a tiring job and a blessing all at the same time. But seeing it as a blessing does not come easy at times, most of the time you are just trying to make it day to day. Taking rest when you can and trying to step up when you have to. 


Well here is a little about what is happening here, in our home! I am being totally honest here and putting myself out there because if this can help one person that is feeling the same way then it is worth sharing. So come in and lets chat......



Since I am trying to live out my faith, doing what the Lord had put in front of me, we said ok to Foster Care in hopes to adopt (that's another whole story, for another time). Fast track to adoption of our 2 boys (then ages 6 and 8) in 2013 and our Daughter (6 yrs old) in 2015. At the time my older boy was diagnosed with High Functioning Asperger's. That was all we knew and we were prepared to deal with 1 special needs child. Knowing we would have to make special arrangements for him and his future, we were prepared to do what we had to do for our new Son.

As we all settled in, my older boy was taking extra time and that was ok. Working extra with him was our lives that we committed to right..... Our youngest Son, as we come to learn, was labeled a "bad kid" and would require more time, still not realizing what was truly going on yet. Well we didn't accept that he was a "bad kid", we could see that there was more going on then just that!!! Why didn't the therapeutic Foster Parent not recognize this as she was higher trained then we were.  Or better yet why didn't the diagnostic center that both boys went into for a couple of weeks not see anything in him? I don't have the answers to that and when I questioned the therapeutic foster parent they lived with for a year after coming out of the center she said that they were not in therapy. She then went on to say they have been through enough "therapeutic" places that they didn't need any more!


Moving into the present day, we now have our younger Son diagnosed with 5 different things, more recently Autism Spectrum Disorder with ADHD and other issues going on. We are working hard with his schools, therapist and psychiatrist to get him the help he needs. He was been admitted 3 times into children's psychiatric hospitals over the last 4 years to figure this all out. He is now on a steady medication plan that seems to be working the best it has been in a while and we know that because of Bio Mom's issues at birth and past trauma his brain works differently then most of us but we are just not sure how to navigate it all.  His anger becomes explosive and he is getting bigger (so much to handle at his age and size) that we are out of options and right now we are taking it one day at a time.


Do we feel like we are failing, you bet!!! Everyday it is a constant struggle to get things "right" in order to help him. All consuming, even draining! I as a Mother feel defeated and drained, depressed even! And with all that going on we still have 2 other special needs kids that need extra help as well. (older Son with high functioning Asperger's and our daughter with ADD). All of which are suffering from past trauma and require special therapy for that.

I'm still working on NOT adding to the chaos :-( 


I know for me, with my faith, it has helped me deal with these season in our lives but still so unsure what our future looks like. There is so much more to talk about and I am hoping with connect with other Moms or Dads of special needs kids, that might be feeling the same way. YOU are not alone that is for sure.

Well I guess that is it for now...... so much more to talk about and to write about but that is why I started this blog, with a little mix of serious and fun posts.

I hope you all have a great day and please let me know you were here, I would love to hear from you!

Be blessed,
Debra

NOTE: two great resources:
Confessions of an Adoptive Parent
Adoption.com













5 comments:

  1. Take it one day at a time and if necessary 1 hour at a time. Things never stay the same. Know you are loved. You are wonderful parents.

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    1. Oh my biggest fan....My Mom, thank you so much! Yeah just trying to stay in His word, some days it is easier then others. :-) Love you.

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  2. I love this and all that you do Deb! Great ppl , great parents .. Praying for you and your family ❤️

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    1. Hey Jolene, thank you so much hun. We are just taking one day at a time right now, keeping strong in my faith has been my saving grace! Without the Lord this would not be possible for sure. Have a great day :-)

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  3. This wonderful post is a FAMILY feature on the March You're the STAR blog hop: https://www.godsgrowinggarden.com/2019/03/youre-star-week3-family-march-2019.html
    Thanks
    Angie

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Thanks for stopping by today, please let me know you were here. I hope you have a great day.